So… It’s 1AM where I live and I was woken by a dream that is not unlike others when I’ve been bound for, or in, Haiti. My first trip was back in 2010, after the earthquake. While there, I wrote about the trip to share my thoughts with the masses back at home and the writer was born… Since then, I have started and stopped writing a few times, so…..
A new blog. A new start. I have a lot of words and sometimes not enough people to share them with during the day. Sometimes it is more that I’m not sure I have words my sphere is interested in- the opinions and random observations ( I may have a page full of “dear so and so… If you could… Love, me”). I also see correlations and likenesses that most really don’t care about. It isn’t a criticism, but rather just an awareness of those around me and to be mindful of who they are and how they view the world. I’m hopeful they wil speak to your heart or your place in life.
To unwind and get my mind in a different place other than the dream I woke from, I played Tetris. To be clear- I am a 30- something mom of two. I grew up without video games except for when mom found a Nintendo at a garage sale for like $5 that came with Mario, duck hunt, and Tetris. Awesome. Dad didn’t like how we would clamor after it, and so it was short lived at our house. Fast forward to now? I have an iPhone, but the only game is Tetris. We moved in September and brought a wii with us. It’s hooked up, I think? Who knows since it has yet to be turned on. Video games are not prevalent. I know they can be addictive and damaging to a family. We aren’t that family. Disclaimer over.
So Tetris became the tool to unwind tonight. To get my mind to shut off. I was reflecting on the day and how my landlord was careful to call and make sure a situation had been taken care of because I have been a great tenant, I’ve shown an ability to take care of the house I live in. I flashed back to a few years ago when the kids and I were last on our own- a mess of toys and dishes, Happy Meal boxes because I was too tired to cook, laundry that never got folded because I was a new single mom of preschool kids. I was working 4 jobs and living on espresso drinks that were laden with calories. I’d make calls on my self employment jobs (plural) while on break from the retail I was working. And now? Steady work. A house that is ok with the surprise landlord visit (*most of the time). I consume more than 700 calories in a day. But more than anything? A chance to start over.
In the game, I had gotten all sorts of things in a mess- shapes not fitting, the strategy part if my brain not kicking in, poor decisions… And I could only think as I found some way to clear level after level, that life was much like that. We have bad decisions. We try to make things fit in the way of a job or relationship or a way of life that really don’t work. We almost get to the point of our “game over” because of the enormity of the mistakes, and then one right move can lead to another… And you find yourself with a clean slate. A new start. A new little house to manage differently. A job to focus on doing well instead of trying everything in fear of how to make it all work.
It is in this Tetris mode I find myself feeling like a new beginning is required with my writing. It will more than likely make for long posts. I’ll share how goofy my son is, how planned my daughter is, heartache, successes, but in all things, the heart behind it is to give you a laugh or a reason to relate and know your journey is not done alone. You can start over. Go back, make things fit, get rid of the things that don’t. Take the time to go back and fix because on the other side? You have a clear start and a solid place to jump off of and refit everything so that life can function and be lived to the fullest.
“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10b ESV)
I’ll be seeing you.
~Kristi
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